Here's the principle: you will attain what you focus on most intently.  If that's the paycheck at the end of the week, then that's what you'll get. If it's the quick, temporary fix of potential relationship breakdown, then that's what you'll get.  

However, if you want to really begin to make bigger, longer-lasting changes in your life, then you will have to begin to focus on the bigger, long-lasting things, instead of the immediate things, to make them real.  

1.  Define what you really want your life to be.  This can be tough, but it needs to be done thoughtfully.  Just saying something like, "I want to be rich" doesn't cut it.  Take some time to do some soul-searching and begin to define some things:  What does "rich" mean...a new house...a new car?  What things do I enjoy doing? What things am I passionate about?

2.  Define what are you willing to give to attain your new lifestyle.  What service or benefit can you provide to others to become "rich" if that's your goal, or to live the lifestyle you enjoy?  What value are you willing to contribute to individuals to make yourself more valuable?   How can I earn a living at doing those things that I enjoy doing? How can I help others?  Remember, your true value lies in what you give, not what you get.

3.  Define the time frame you think it will take to reach your goal, or make some of the changes you have planned.  This is probably the hardest thing to gauge, but if you at least plug some sort of date into your plan, you will have a basic goal to shoot for and track towards.  Don't worry; you can always revise it later.

Once you have these three basic things defined, even if it's just a rough draft at this point, you are now on your way to your new lifestyle!  You will exhibit more confidence, because you now have an over-arching life plan.  This will have immediate effects on your life right now, and may even open new doors for you as you follow your plan.  

Maybe you'll see that your current job really is a dead-end job, and you can then begin taking steps to move closer to your goal career.  Maybe you'll see that some of your "friends" really are causing destructive tendencies in your life, and it's time to move on.  Conversely, you may find that some of your friends will actually stick with you through thick or thin, and these are the trusted people you need around you for support.

Just remember, it's a great plan but it's not written in stone; it's in your mind and your attitude, and you can adjust it at anytime to take advantage of opportunities that arise from your new-found confidence and poise. 

And best of all, now that you know where you're going, you will eventually get there.

I once had a customer who had learned this principle from his father.  He used it in his life to move himself closer to accomplishing goals and finding answers, and said it worked for him.  I have used it in my own life with great success, although rarely have I had to "use up" all five people to find what I need.

Here's how it works:  you have a challenge or goal before you.  You can choose to do several things:  a) nothing; b) try to do something on your own; c) find others to help you.  This principle brings out the 3rd option: finding others to help you.  This is not a defense of the I'm-a-victim, help-me-or-I'll-perish sort of way of asking for help and direction, but instead a bold and courteous sharing of ambition to find like-minded answers.

Let's use an example of finding a new lead for a commercial space for your office, and you're not sure where to start.  Most people start "googling" stuff right away, but the principle here is that you use "live" people to a) build relationships, b) move you closer to your goal, and ultimately c) help you accomplish your goal.

Instead of using Google or the Yellow Pages or Dex or whatever tech options are currently out there, why not start talking instead to people?  This is where the fun begins.  Start with the basic, "Have you seen any commercial spaces available around here?"  You have now engaged the experiences and travels of someone who frequents specific areas that are different than yours, and now doubled your search environment.  What if someone overhears you and offers a suggestion?  What if they don't know, but refer you to a friend who knows a realtor, or is looking to get out of a lease, etc.?  You will have now moved closer to your goal with only one simple question! 

If you've asked a couple of your close friends or work acquaintances about commercial spaces, start to talk to other random people you deal with in life.  Maybe it's the service repairman who shows up at your home; maybe it's a person with whom you strike up a conversation in a grocery check-out line.  The principle is that the more people you present your challenge to, the higher the probability they will have a clue (or an outright answer) to your dilemma.  You will be absolutely amazed at how this principle connects you with others in ways that you may have previously never thought possible, and answers to your challenges appear from the strangest sources.

I use it at work to find out information I need in a pinch.  I'll usually start with work associates whom I consider to be eligible to know the information I need, but then I will continue to broaden my outline of questioning to perimeter work associates, and then maybe even to other casual acquaintances.  I typically only have to go two or three people deep to either get the info I need, or to point me in the right direction, and then the process may start over once again.

The customer who taught me this had actually asked me if I knew anyone who needed an instructor for a cruise ship seminar.  Not being in the business, I couldn't help him, but he simply chalked me up as one of the five, and then positioned himself to ask the next person who came along.  I believe he ultimately got his answer, as he was looking to find work in that area and soon after moved out of his home to pursue that goal.  

This really does work, and I challenge you to step out of excuse-making mode long enough to become a dogged pursuer of resolution and fulfillment.  What's the worst that could happen?  Like me, someone could say "no," and then you simply move on to the next person; no harm, no foul.

Start to take charge of the things you think are beyond your control, and you will find, amazingly, that soon almost hand-delivered solutions and direction begin to show up to help you address your concerns.  Use the five people principle to pursue adventurebolts and help make your life into more of what you think it ought to be for yourself, and for others.

–noun

1. the manner and ability with which an artist, writer, dancer, athlete, or the like employs the technical skills of a particular art or field of endeavor.

2. the body of specialized procedures and methods used in any specific field, esp. in an area of applied science.

3. method of performance; way of accomplishing.

4. technical skill; ability to apply procedures or methods so as to effect a desired result.

5. Informal. method of projecting personal charm, appeal, etc.: "He has the greatest technique with customers."

We look for lots of different things to "blame" unfavorable situations on.  Unexpected things happen, trials come and go.  And yet, while we may have little or no control over some experiences (earthquakes, natural disasters, for example) our response to these unexpected situations is what defines who we are.

One of my favorite lines from the "Batman Begins" movie (and I have lots of 'em) is:  "It's not who you are on the inside, but what you do that defines you."  Convicting, yet resonating as truth, that statement is the beginning of understanding what living an intentional life is all about.  While only God can know your heart, everyone else has to rely on what they see you do to understand what it is you really believe and stand for.  In the movie, Bruce Wayne had to make a decision about standing against injustice, or allowing criminals to ruin the city.  As you can guess, he chose the former by creating the Batman, and then had to live with the consequence of that decision: the sacrifice of having to live a double life to battle crime.

Back in reality, our responses to circumstances, unexpected or otherwise, pave the way for other decisions and responses later on, and sometimes are involved in creating new experiences and situations.  Proactive choices we make are just as volatile. We may choose to pursue a job or career that ends up being not what we thought, or buy a house that has lots of issues, for example.  Once a choice is made, we set ourselves on a path that involves everything that comes with that decision.

My wife and I once made a decision to purchase a used car, and within the first year of us owning it, the transmission needed to be replaced.  Were we just having bad luck, or was there some conspiracy to cause us to have to shell out a couple of thousand dollars?  No, we experienced that result because we made a decision to buy a used car, and we probably should have done a little better research on that vehicle.

Learning to accept responsibility for your choices and responses liberates you to create new choices in a positive direction.  By taking charge of your decisions, you automatically begin to live intentionally, and can then spend your time doing more of what you truly believe in.

If you have never made a list like this, then try the following exercise: answer one question in as many ways as possible:  "What would I do if money were no object?"  Write down everything that comes to mind; don't worry if it seems crazy, just try to get everything down that you feel would be a) cool; b) fun; or c) beneficial to others. Allow your imagination to roam a bit and capture as much of it as possible in one scatter-shot list.  

Then start to assign timelines to these goals by putting them into these terms: long-term, (5 years); mid-term (1-4) years; and short-term (now to 1 year). Pretty soon you can begin to piece together a rough outline of some things you would like to accomplish, and you will begin defining what an adventurebolt lifestyle looks like to you.

Next, you can start putting some action steps to those things.  For example, maybe one of your passions is to "ride on a Hobie Cat catamaran" next summer.  Some action steps might look like: a) locate boat rentals in your vicinity; b) inquire about costs/insurance; and c) sign up for lessons in 4 months.  Then put dates to each of those action steps, and before you know it, you will have positioned yourself to accomplish this goal.

Maybe you think it would be awesome to help underprivileged tribes in Africa.  Define the need, the area, and the agencies you would need to contact.  How much money would you need?  How long would you be gone?  Plug all of the "what-ifs" into your list, and assign timelines to complete each of these action steps.  If you don't have the money to spend an extended time in Africa right now, how long would it take to save what you need?  How else can you earn extra money?  If you're serious enough about your goal, you will find a way to make it happen, and you will stop making excuses not to.

If you follow these types of steps with other goals, your life begins to become more geared toward your passions.  When you are living more passionately, your exposure to - and your ability to experience - adventurebolts exponentially increases.